Sometimes it feels like a messy break-up can last forever. You break up, but you still talk every day. You break up, but you still sleep together on a regular basis. You break up, but you still argue like a married couple. Sometimes it just feels like the relationship never really ends; or maybe it’s just that idea of being comfortable is really, really hard to let go of.
How many times do you have to go through the same bullsh*t, before you realize the comfort isn’t worth the heartbreak? At what point, do you say “I AM DONE,” and finally cut him out of your life completely? When it’s over, wouldn’t it be nice for it to aaaactually be over? You delete his number and immediately delete him off of Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. You’ll show him who’s winning this break up. But in most cases (or at least mine), his number is already memorized and you find ways of to creep on all of his social media, even if you’re not “friends”.
The first week goes by, you haven’t heard from him.
The first month goes by and you still haven’t heard from him.
You sit and stare at your phone until you cave. One text won’t hurt. You just want to know that he isn’t holding up as well as you are. He just needs to know that you are doing totally fine and you haven’t even thought about him in the last 30 days…at all…not once…nope, you’ve been just great since he broke your heart and smashed it into 100 million little pieces. Well, that one text turns into a whole conversation, and now you’re on your way to meet him for lunch. Unfortunately, this is all too familiar. That one simple text message quickly brings back old habits.
Lunch turns into an entire day together, which turns into an entire night together, which inevitably ends up as an entire morning together. To you, this is the beginning of ‘working things out’; to him you got lunch, you hung out and you slept together, so what? After a couple months of doing the same thing, it’s pretty obvious you’re back together; even your friends think so.
Ha! If only it was that simple. All it takes is one text message to the wrong person, for you to realize, you’re not the only girl. Here you go again, this vicious cycle of being comfortable came back to bite you in the a**. You cry and cry and cry but all he has to say is “You caught me.” That’s it; you’re never talking to him again.
Until one month goes by, you send a text and it begins all over again. How many times do you go through the motions before it’s clear that things will never be the same? It could be once (highly unlikely), or it could be two, three or four times. Maybe it’ll take something HUGE to happen for you to finally realize you need to stop. Maybe he’s in a serious relationship; maybe he’s having a baby with his new girlfriend, or maaaaybe you found someone who finally treats you right.
Falling back into old habits is easy. Sometimes it’s too easy and that’s what screws you. You get too comfortable. He’s like that old t-shirt you have from sophomore year of high school. It’s been washed hundreds of times, the armpit stains are disgusting, you’re not even sure what the importance of it is anymore and everyone HATES when you wear it. Just because it’s comfortable, doesn’t mean it’s fashionable. Just because being with him is comfortable, doesn’t mean it’s always the best option. Cutting him out of your life is probably going to be harder than hell. I mean, you two have gone through EVERYTHING together.
It’s going to feel like a break up all over again, possibly even worse. But that morning when you wake up and finally feel happy again, you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.